I’ll check my calendar, Mr. Douglas. Please feel free, in the meantime, to call our offices to schedule a slightly-more-appropriate dinner to discuss this video revolution issue.

(p.s. Are you the one emailing me pictures of your feet? If so, please stop. They’re scaring my houseplants.)

Mr. Kensington would like the Senior Team to know that he arrived earlier this evening to sleep in the office in anticipation of tomorrow’s arctic storm. He has called Annie in and frankly is surprised there aren’t more of you sacked out in the mess hall.

Annie has brought to his attention this computer letter from a prospective client, something about radio photography and animated television episodes being viewable “even more so than the Internets.”

Per Mr. Kensington:

Utter tripe and folderol, you great LOUT. I have just succeeded in banning the use of television channels on Company Computing Appliances, when you waltz in with the Moose Stones to suggest that such gizmography should be deliberately joined with Internet. As if it were possible and we all lived in some far-distant future where coffee is freeze dried in crystal form and children are allowed to play pin-ball.

OF ALL THE FOOLHEADED GODAWFUL MORONIC SENTIMENTS, SIR, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE. Why, the common man’s head would rocket off his shoulders in a geyser of overwhelmed stupification should such a seismic medium ever come into contact with his feeble intellect. In actually accomplishing this notion, sir, we would succeed in nothing but bludgeoning our desired audience into a sort of inert sludge lacking the wit or capacity to spend ONE GREEN DOLLAR on the products we marketeers are in the BUSINESS of advocating.

Mr. Kensington would like somebody to tell those worker bees in PR to whip this into a serviceable reply to this impudent gnat. Make it almost respectful, but subtly demeaning. Get it out to Mr. Douglas in tomorrow morning’s postal. THEY will not have taken a Monday off because of a little snow.