I know I’m just the Office Manger, Accountant, IT Director and Facilities Manager, but I have an idea.

In my “start your own web business” class at Central Piedmont, we just covered something like this. During a group discussion, this guy with a ring in his nose and green hair said that some businesses are starting to use the internet to let their customers help develop products and other actionables. Several of us chuckled. But now I wonder if his crazy idea might just work for this need of B&S. We could open it up to the public to help us pick our slogan.

What do you think, Team?

Trisha Dargan, OM CFO IT FM

First of all, they are ACTION FIGURES and they are worth more than your make-up and lipstick. Isn’t there a soap opera convention somewhere?

Secondly, you can’t just galavant around like a know-it-all, step on the peons in Creative all day, then get in here with a revelation of what the firm should do when you get back from a conference that I should be at.

Thirty, marketing slogans are the life blood of sales. When I sold cars, I never left the deal with a good-bye. I left the customer with my own personal slogan, “Buy from Stan, You’re the man.”

We should form a steering committee to first form the advisory committee that will pick the advisors for such a decision. They then in turn will select which slogan.

As such, I recommend: “Light years ahead of our competition.”

Well, Stan, first of all, “action figures” would imply some kind of action. And since it’s clear from looking at you that the only “action” you get is moving from the fridge to the couch to watch Firefly marathons…well, do the math.

Also, I was asked to attend the S&FC. Asked. By the client. Who knows which of us is the professional here. Perhaps your dolls could give you some advice on professionalism?

Trisha — it’s a great idea to open things up to the public to decide, once we get some ideas. I do like Mr. Baffington’s “thought leaders in the industry of marketing”, but it might be a little long for the business cards. I do appreciate your input on this, however. Thank you for taking this much more seriously than Stan’s capable of.

Some of you may not know that our current tagline was developed by my meddlesome first wife, DeeDee. So I’m obviously fine with replacing it if Baff approves.

Isn’t it already on all our collateral as, “A thought leader in the industry of marketing”?

Art Director, your access codes to the Internet are to be used for work issues only. Senior-level staff will discuss the issues and request your input accordingly.

Art Director - As a member for the senior-level staff I’ll handle communications for creative. Please do not voice your opinion unless asked.

Wow. Creative can talk? And here I thought they communicated in a series of grunts and pictograms sent via e-mail…

Webmaster will provide temporary access codes to Creative for the purposes of information exchange.

Webmaster: Please remain on 24-hour standby for senior staff to call Creative in for comment.

Mrs. Bilmore: Please remain on 24-hour standby to revoke Webmaster’s access codes to the Internet, should SOPs not be followed according to senior staff.

Good morning all, I made it in. (Whew!)

The Jan Man mentioned something about a new tagline in a writers’ meeting so I thought I would weigh in. Exciting project — never thought I would see the day! Here are a few rough ideas:

- Multimedia marketing since 1949.
- Diverse marketing initiatives for the 21st century.
- Advertising strategies for the new century.
- Leveraging to our clients’ advantage — always.

Those are just starting points. Looking forward to collaborating.

COPY EDITOR - This is no place for you to share your creative thoughts. As Mr. Baffington has mention MULTIPLE TIMES, this is a private web and for senior staff only. Though I appreciate your input, please consult your SOPs and follow the proper chains of communications.

Webmaster - please revoke access codes to all creatives until further notice.

Hey guys - I’ve been doing some thinking and I’ve come up with the following possible taglines to get the creative juices flowing.

- Multimedia marketing since 1949.
- Diverse marketing initiatives for the 21st century.
- Advertising strategies for the new century.
- Leveraging to our clients’ advantage — always.

Those are just starting points.

Copy Editor - Please do not refer to me as “The Jan Man.” It is too casual for an office setting. Mr. Janikowski, please.

Mr Kensington likes the cut of your moxie, Janikowski.

However, he believes in synergy. There are elements of each of your text logos that would work best in concert with one another. There is also the small matter of this being our 60th year in the advertisement game.

As such, and taking into account all other possible variants and measures of quality, Mr. Kensington proposes the following:

Baffington and Sellers: Now in our 60th year of initiating and leveraging marketing and advertising strategies across diverse and varied platforms of media for the better part of the 20th century since 1949.

I hope you all realize the incredible thought leadership on display here by Mr. Kensington. Not only does his tagline circumcise everything this comapany does and stands for, but it does so in a extinct and efficient manner. That will fit perfectly on our marketing materials.

Webmaster note: As per Leadership’s directive to solicit public input on our company’s core self-identity text, we received the following from an ardent B&S acolyte, “Betsy,” via our Contact Form’s pop-up survey:

Mr. Kensington offers a real clincher, there. I was just going to recommend:

Baffington & Sellers
We do everything.

I think it’s smashing, because it’s easily customized, enhanced and maximized (not unlike Baffington’s clients’ results).

Mr. Kensington might sooner go for something like:

Baffington & Sellers
We do everything, you Nazi pigs!

Mr. Janikowski might like whatever Mr. Kensington likes, or maybe something along the lines of:

Baffington & Sellers
We do everything, especially really creative stuff.

And Ms. Bilmore might go for:

Baffington & Sellers
We do everything nice and neat.

And so on. Also, don’t tell anyone that “everything” translates to “nothing”. That is monkey piddle. Clearly, everything means everything, and B&S does nothing short of it.

Sincerely,
Miss Betsy

P.S. When I become a Baffington & Sellers employee, may my card please read:

Baffington & Sellers
We do everything - except Twittery. Don’t be daft.

Webmaster, is this from today’s Mailroom?

Yes sir. I brought it over to the “Private Area” per your request in Memo #4233.

Very well. Carry on, young man.

Also, I would like the information on this Yahoo ragamuffin sent to me with all due expediency.

WHY AM I LEFT OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION!?!?!

What is this “Betsy” babbling about?

Because, clearly, you’re irrelevant, Stan.

While you were out this weekend making snow angels with your little plastic dolls at NerdCon, some of us were working on bettering the company.

Kinda shows your priorities, doesn’t it?

We do everything. Brilliant! Or, we do everything, brillantly. Of course, of course. This “Betsy” seems to be on to something. Might I suggest: Baffington and Sellers: In these trying times, if you fall, you won’t be caught by any internet, but Baffington and Sellers will. Yes we will… Or something along those lines. Actually, I prefer Betsy’s ideas.

It has come to the attention of Mr. Kensington that there is some sort of perceived threat to the supremacy of his definitive text logo soon to accompany the insignia of Baffington and Sellers. His response is below.

Betsy:

Superior writing is about WORDS, my dear girl, and lots of them. You have proposed a woefully inadequate total of three. Even now I chuckle into my martini napkin to think of it. Moreover, two of your three words are exceedingly short and to the point.

You plainly have no grasp of the objective of marketing.

In my time with this firm, I have been personally involved with HUNDREDS of words crafted for the profitable benefit of such top-shelf clients as Pucker Pickles, Piney Mountain Hollow County Rural Water, and Dollar World. Furthermore, I have personally been witness to tens of millions of world-class advertisement campaigns during my six decades in the marketing game.

I know Quality Wordcraftsmanship, Betsy. And such quality simply DOES NOT include language like “do.” Next you will be suggesting the word “it”!

Have industry giants displayed such truncated, deficient verbiage in their branding efforts, Betsy? Mac-Donald? American Express? Milk?

WELL, NO.

NO Betsy. NEVER, Betsy.

While I trust your time at B&S will serve to iron out any such notions entirely, I have my doubts as to your long-term prospects in this field. However, my offer of a Meet and Greet still stands. Depending on your attire, grooming acumen, and overall conduct, you might follow in the steps of interns before you and extend your tenure here by means of regular tutoring sessions with me.

We shall see.

Webmaster revoking public’s access to B&S creative process as directed.