Monogramed Snuggies for Spring Lead Drive
Trisha Bilmore
Everyone,
It’s time to begin planning for this year’s Spring Lead Drive. I’ve arranged to get bulk pricing on those wonderful Snuggie blankets, see below.
I love mine!
Anyway, we are going to have them monogramed with the initials of our best prospects and mail them this March 2oth, the first day of spring.
Please email me your top five prospects for approval by March 9th. And please be sure to double check their names, especially those of you with poor spelling (Stan). A monogram failure would certainly be a blight on our image.
Thank you,
Trisha Dargan, OM CFO IT FM
5 Comments
Mr. Kensington recalls a recent bout with the Insomnia, during which his usual remedy of cognac and the Bloomberg Network was unsuccessful. He found himself remoting around the dial, when he came upon one of the WORST products, furthermore the MOST ANEMIC, PATHETIC, ILL-CONCEIVED television advertisement commerical campaign, he had ever had the misfortune to set eyes upon.
Mr. Kensington quickly flipped channels, retched up half a quart of cognac, and finally found relief in a Green Acres marathon, putting the foul taste of that godawful 45 seconds as far out of his mind as he could.
Now Annie skips up to his desk and pulls him over to her computer and begs for one of these very same mutated afghan abominations, twittering some clap-trap about how cold her cubicle area is.
WELL, NO.
NO, Annie. NEVER, Annie. Please instruct whomever plugged this channel into a Company Computer to remove it YESTERDAY. Mr. Kensington adds that he would request of the Lord to have mercy on the soul of the culprit if Mr. Kensington ever gets a whiff of the party responsible for allowing B&S employees access to this channel.
Mr. Kensington,
YOU requested that I come up with something “snappy” and “with all the fortitude of Brylcreem” for this year’s Spring Lead Drive. I’m sorry to have missed the nuances of your “instructions”. These are the hottest topic on the “eXamine Your Zeitgeist” gadget podcast.
Trisha Dargan, OM CFO IT FM
Sellers, this is not my project, particularly if Quality Control has this sort of reaction. Cognac is too precious to allow these demons to waste it. However, if it makes money, please do apply resources to it.
And what is this “gadget podcast” poppycock? Mrs. Bilmore, perhaps you should visit the medic and/or OB/GYN to be checked out.
Per Mr. Kensington:
Yes, yes, carry on with the Spring Lead Initiative, Trisha. Do let Leadership know what the gift basket will contain this year. Last year’s Piney Mountain Hollow Sausage and Bacon Bouquet will be hard to top!
Also, as you have time in light of this project, please try to ferret out who on God’s Green Earth would dare plug a Commercial Television Channel into B&S Computing Appliances.
Mr. Kensington would like a word with the perpetrator.
I don’t remember a startup meeting for new business dimensional mailings. Baff, is this your project?