Tweeting on Twitt is a procedure in where you can unleash bits and pieces your personality. Details of your life that you would never share with anyone.

It’s most effective and the hallmark of social media, from what the Creatives think.

As you all know, I’m a proponent of continuing education. If we must send someone to a Twit class, B&S will pay for it.

Personally, I think it’s a monumental waste of otherwise productive time. Who the hell cares what you had for breakfast? How’s *that* little tidbit going to help you get ahead in this world? Bottom line, people. Stick to what works.

And Stan, I’m surprised you have the time to play with toys when there’s work to be done.

Please. I’ve been in this business since I was 9. Who’s spends all day brushing her hair?

And did you steal my stress ball!?!

You aren’t the only account manager, Margaret. What works is what gets the deal done. We need to sell and if Tweetering gets that done, so be it. Mr. Sellers, I would be most honored to attend a Tweeter class with you.

Hey there guys and gals. I just wanted to let you know that if you have any spare time, which I know most of you do not, there are many online tutorials on tweetering you can do. These online training courses are all part of the “Login and Learn” program I’ve developed for our digital graphic artists. If you have any questions let me know or consult the SOPs.

Nick, please set up a time for Margaret to take the class. We cannot afford more than one person away from the office for this. Margaret will present her findings in our next staff meeting.

Considering you still *act* nine, that’s not much of a rebuke, Stan. (And at least I brush mine once in a while. You might do well to try it sometime.)

The stress ball’s been liberated, from what I hear, by Creative. They were sick of the squeaking. Check the microwave.

Also, Mr Sellers, sir — I can, of course, do that. Though I believe that I could explain the basics of all this without wasting your money on a class. Maybe Nick can compile a list of those tutorials? My schedule’s pretty full as it is, and it can’t be that hard to find something mundane to tweeter to the world, can it?

I’ll do more than compile a list, Mr. Sellers. I’ll type up a comprehensive set of bullets showing all the classes.

Margarat, I live by one motto: “If it ain’t broke, don’t attempt a repair.” My hair has outperformed in both my personal and professional life, thank you very much. I believe my Outlook Contacts speak for themselves.

So now you’re comparing size? I’d have thought you’d save that for your final act, Stan. (I mean, “big guns” might be a little bit of hyperbole where you’re concerned anyway.)

And I thought your motto was “Cheesy-O’s are part of this balanced breakfast”? Perhaps I was mistaken.

Nick? Which one of those online tutorials is the best? If there’s something I’m missing in regards to the tweets, I’d like to be able to find out without wasting any more company time than I have to.

In my opinion the best tutorial is “Twitter Dee and Twitter Dumb, a Beginners Guide to Tweeting.”

Again, these online tutorials are only a suggestion but I’m offering “Log-n-Learn” classes to fulfill people’s personal development goals come review time.

Margaret shall I find room in your calendar to meet offline?

Please do, Nick. This week is out, due to that Screw and Fastener Convention in Cleveland for Lock-Saf, but after that, I should be free. I might try just making a twit account and poking around a bit.

Yes, this week is out for me too. In fact, I have a month’s worth in my Outlook. Lots of meetings. I also have a meeting in Raleigh. And a class in Charlotte. I’m very busy.

I too will also establish a twit account and maximize profits through that.

Well, then. If Stan’s too busy, I suppose I could put off the pre-show and learn a little more ahead of time so I can practice while on the road. Wouldn’t want Baffington & Sellers to be without an essential media presence, would we? Plan for an 8 o’clock tomorrow, Nick?

8:00 works for me although I’ll probably have a case of the “Monday Mourning.” (hee hee.) I think it would be great if you twitted yourself at the Cleveland Convention.

Excellent. I’ll bring donuts and wake-up juice, and we’ll whip this tweeter thing into a serviceable method of extending Baffington’s considerable reach.

What is the URL for Twitting?

(I can bring bagels and strawberry cream cheese — a healthy alternative to those of us watching our figures.)

Stan - I would request the URL from our IT department. These sorts of things just go right over my head.

I believe I have mastered the Twit technology.

http://twitter.com/MJKelley

But I’ll still come in early tomorrow so I can explain it to Stan in very small words so that he can understand.

This is most agreeable.

Margarat, can you “tile” the logo in your twit background? Shouldn’t there be unaformaty?

Oh, Stan! The misspelling of my name is *so* creative! I’m impressed that you were able to hold a coherent thought long enough to make a completely original, intelligent rodent joke. Perhaps you missed your calling; clearly, copywriting is much more up your alley.

Also, tiling would be overkill. No need in beating people over the head when a whisper will do.

(And it’s “uniformity”. Maybe you should get creative in your use of spell-check?)

Mr. Kensington would like to know what all the everloving fuss is about, like dicking around with twits is something new. He has been in the business of controlling the quality of twits like you all for the last 60 years. He was picking twit bits out of his stool before you were filling your diapers in sunday school. Go put together some numbers on our latest circular half pages. Go cold call a few clearance houses. Go big or stay home.

Of course, Mr. Kensington. The work is, of course, first.

According to all the talk about this tweeter thing, if you just tell the world what kind of socks you wear, the business will just *come to you*. Apparently, there are people for this. These “social networkers” work for other companies and do nothing but read about socks and breakfasts all day, and contact you about their business if they identify with your sock preference.

At least, that’s how I’m reading it. There are, I think, about seven hundred million of these networking “experts” playing with twits, so I figure for the small investment of time it would take to explain to Stan how to write something interesting, we could bring in a fair number of these strategic partnerships for the benefit of the agency.

I agree, Mr. Kensington. And must I say that you looked impeckable this morning on your way to the strategic meeting.

For some reason my computer is acting up and is preventing me from establishing the Twittering account. I shall be a mentor to Margerat in her learning of the technology.